I’m in Los Angeles, in the year 2019, and it is very much the same Los Angeles as seen in the movie Blade Runner. It is night and it is raining. I have been traveling for a long time. I walk down the streets, lit by neon lights and crowded with exotic people. I take a turn through an alley, and I eventually find myself facing a disused wharf. Run down apartment buildings sit along the old wharf. There is a party in one of them that I have been invited to. I eventually find the correct address and go inside. There is an old metal staircase that I climb to get to the right door. I open the door with the correct number and walk in to some sort of anteroom. At the end of the anteroom is another staircase down into a large warehouse. Very loud dance music emanates from the room and there is a whiff of some sort of unusual smell in the air. It all seems very uncharacteristic of a place I would ever want to go to. I take step out of the anteroom into the large open warehouse when I realize it is really a casino of sorts. I realize that all the patrons are naked, and are not only naked, but are also participating in a massive orgy. A voice shouts to me that if I want to join in or have any of their beer, I need to disrobe. I am about to walk out when I notice a woman walking towards me, getting dressed. “I just went in there for the beer.” she explains. “Was it good beer?” I ask. She responds, “There was no beer.” She disappears.
I am about to walk out the door when a normal-looking couple walks in the door. They ask me about the party and I tell them it is not only a party without beer, but it is also a foul-smelling orgy. The wife tells me there is another party the next building over. She peeks over my shoulder and admits, “Wow, is that a disgusting orgy.”
We walk to the next building over. We introduce ourselves and they admit that they’ve never seen Blade Runner. We get to the building and go inside. This party is more to my liking. Enjoyable music is played at a sensible volume, and the patrons are all clothed, all accept the woman I had seen getting dressed and leaving the orgy. She sits aside from everyone else, wearing only her bra and panties. She has a pony keg of 7-up in her lap. She continuously fills and then drinks a small paper cup of the 7-up. I do not see any beer. There is none in the fridge and no one is drinking any. I sit on a couch next to some people playing video games. After a minute or so, some people get off the sofa they were sitting on and then climb on to the back of the furniture. They start giggling and looking around the room. I look to see the reactions of other people at the party who begin giggling at the sight. Soon, patrons are jumping from sofa to sofa dozens of times. A man in a shirt and tie bursts forth from the bathroom and exclaims at the top of his voice, “SOON THE WEED WILL BE HERE!”
I excuse myself from the party. I walk back out into the rainy and dark Blade Runner streets. A blimp flies overhead advertising helicopters and below, the streets are seething with denizens of all sorts, but I notice a familiar face walking towards me. I walk closer to this person and I realize it’s my friend Landon. We greet each other and shake hands. I start walking with him. I tell him about the weird orgy and the sofa jumping party. I begin to tell him that we should find a normal place to get a drink but he interrupts me. In very coarse and profane language, he tells me that I am going to see some awesome shit that night and my life will have not had any prior experiences to compare it to and I will poop myself so much that my reputation will be tarnished for life and I will therefore die alone. I am aghast that he is capable of speaking in such away. He then tells me that he’s bought a Ducati motorcycle and as a result, he is now a misogynist for life.
We continue to walk. I see a mexican restaurant, and I think it would be a good place to stop for a while. I suggest this to Landon, but he is unsure. Batman walks out of the front door of the restaurant and in his hand is something wrapped in foil. Possibly multiple tacos or a burrito. Neither Landon or I say anything about stopping at the restaurant or that we just saw Batman. We continue walking down the street until we come upon a road 4 lanes wide. The rain has begun to die down and the neon lights are more distinct. People have gathered as though there might be a parade.
I hear helicopters overhead and people on the street begin cheering. ”They are fighting helicopters tonight!” Landon exclaims. I see a helicopter a few hundred feet above street level. It has a blue stripe on the white fuselage, with letters reading ‘police’. A millisecond later, a second blue police helicopter screams in out of nowhere and slams into the first helicopter. The explosion sends two flaming hulks of steel falling downward onto the street and buildings. People cheer in ecstatic approval. Ambulance and fire-truck sirens fade in. I get in a car, maybe a taxi, and sit in the back seat. As it drives away, I turn around to look at Blade Runner 2019 Los Angeles. The cityscape is accented with tiny bursts of yellow-orange light.
